Mood:  chillin'

It's raining pretty hard where Shane is, right now, which is good, since my area's been in the MOAD (mother-of-all-droughts) for some time now.

During that time I've resisted the urge to bust-out an Ocarina and play the 'Song of Storms' on it...

Oh, yes: and my Ocarina of Time screenplay is finished, too. All 408 pages of it...

READ IT, if you're so inclined (.pdf formatting, so's you know)

(well, at least I had the courtesy to include scene bookmarks...)

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 5:53 PM ADT

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A television post... God help me...

Anyway, ever see this show?

Fairly popular. Probably heard of it, at least...

The premise of this show is very similar to the dry-as-toast, boring-as-hell hole-in-the-wall that is JAG (and that review there is based off a total of three episodes I've seen... two in their entirety... Shane's not all that much for television, push-coming-to-shove...)

Anyway, it's the same usual cop-drama ludicrousness that you see on, say CSI (where the forensic analysts take charge of the cases from start to finish, interrogating suspects, packing guns, getting into high-speed chases etc... in real life, of course, an overweight detective makes those guys his bi*ches at their dreary crime lab while he does the actual cop work, 'natch).

In this case, well: we've got 'Naval Criminal Investigative Services'. Each episode desperately reaches for a reason for them to basically investigate whatever case they want, wherever they want (even going so far as Iraq and Afghanistan... yes...).

Usual episode:

"A massive drug smuggling ring was brought down today, which would usually involve a coordinated FBI / ATF / Justice Department effort spanning several counties (and countries) and multiple jurisdictions, but, since some Naval petty officer out of Quantico accidentally got run-over by a gang member's car, "NCIS" handled the entire case, start to finish, single-handed, without any inter-agency cooperation."

Yeah: overall, the actual episode plots are ham-fisted, at best...

But you know what?

The show is actually exceedingly addictive, I must say.

Most of the draw, I think for me, anyway, is the rather witty rapid-fire dialogue between the cast members. They don't have a 'Seinfeld-esqe' level of chemisty, mind you (if that makes any sense...) but for the most part the dialogue writing and character interactions are quite good...

...also... well... their forensic analyst girl has this thing going on: it's like she's the dark sister of that Progressive Insurance Girl...

...but I digress...

I'm not totally a devotee, mind you (still mostly just catch the reruns on USA Network while I treadmill), but still: there's something about this show that's quite 'hooking', and it certainly isn't the overall episode plots, for sure...

And yes: I actually did watch the gimmicky two-hour crossover plug for their newcomer spinoff 'NCIS Los Angeles' (basically where they forced the NCIS cast to awkwardly interact with the cast of a new series for those two hours...)

How pathetic...

...but, in spite of that, I'm still keeping my eye out for those NCIS reruns...

...for that Abby girl, if for nothing else...

Here's pages 269 and 270 of Ocarina of Time.

Yes... it is very long...

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Yup: it's long. But in my defense I am quite close to finishing it. All I've got left is one 'peril-related scene' aimed at li'l Link (which I hope to completely knock-out tonight, actually) and then a brief lead-in to the storming of Ganondorf's castle and the grand finale (and we all say 'ooooooh'!)...

...my only criticism of myself, so far, is that this thing gets awfully dark, especially towards the end... let's just say that I strive to be realistic in some aspects of the story, and what do you think might happen... realistically... if an 8-year-old boy took on a deranged, homicidal, power-mad grown-up tyrant?

...yeah, you figure that might not end so well, actually...

but on the bright side, there's always 'replacements' out there...

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 10:53 PM ADT

Updated: Saturday, 12 September 2009 12:27 AM ADT

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Mood:  incredulous

Think of some insanely cool and awesome sports drinks out there: you've got your Gatorade, naturally, and all its derivatives...

Then there are the psuedo-'sports' drinks of the kind put out by twits like our good friends over at the "Rockstar" Corporation, whos main venue of advertisement is enlightened fare such as all the "Girls Gone Wild" videos (no: I'm not a subscriber, but when you watch the rancid commercials you can see that all the... well... um... skanks who are lounging around sit on 'Rockstar' towels, or they're holding up cans of insipid 'Rockstar' energy drink product in their hands). Such trash, of course, contains ridiculous amounts of caffiene (and its incredibly misleading 'cousin' Guarana, which is, yes, another name for caffiene).

Such a thing gives a body 'energy' in the same vein that sticking a fork into an electrical socket gives you 'light': it's technically true, but there are better ways of doing it, frankly...

Anyway, the bottom line for most (reputable) sports drinks is that they maintain their effectiveness through their ability to replace a body's lost electrolytes; that is to say, most energy drinks are, at their most basic level, glorified sugar water.

That's not being entirely fair, and its an overgeneralization, but still...

Anyway, along comes this study  touting the benefits of... chocolate milk?

Huh? For exercise, you say?

And its even got its own Wikipedia verification (as of today, anyway...) which means it must be true!

Honestly, though: I suppose this finding does make a certain amount of sense, at least conceptually. What're the two major components of chocolate milk (again, overgeneralizing)?

That'd be sugars and proteins, in large part.

I suppose then, that a good ol' cup of choco milk might be just what the doctor ordered for the post-workout pains.

...or not. But, if you disagree with these findings, does that make you 'lactose intolerant'?

...yeah, sorry...

I've discussed my own prejudices in a previous post, haven't I? Seems I find a whole lot of things objectionable. My intolerance, I think, might be on a much bigger scale. Hell, mayby I'm even 'galactose intolerant'...

...sorry...

Anyway: here's a page from an early part of Zelda: OOT. I'm trying to edit the f**k out of this thing before I wrap up the ending.

Don't know why I keep trying to edit the thing before I finish it, though: juggling two things at once like that: I'm really just not that dextrose...

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And no: in my adaptation Link actually doesn't speak... as a little kid, at least. Not very much, anyway...

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 5:53 PM ADT

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Mood:  don't ask

Alright, this one's gonna be interesting, so... well... bear with me a time...

I read a recent online article by Newsweek deploring what they call America's "Fat Hatred" (and no: not just hatred of fat, but specifically the non-obeses' hatred of fat people)

The article interested me because... well... not that I'm an all-around paragon of 'tolerance' in other respects, but Shane does, in fact, actually 'hate' fat people. It's not that I'm mean-spirited in public, or desire to openly ridicule people (far from it), but in my heart-of-hearts, when I see some relative behemoth strutting in public before me, I feel something quite strongly: it is, in fact, a hatred.

By 'hate' I mean I demonstrate a somewhat 'latent animosity' towards the obese or the general 'logie' (it means what it sounds, basically). I have for awhile, now, actually, and in point of fact most of the reasons the article speculates for why non-obese people hate fat people are quite spot-on for me: it does a rather good job of explaining some of the rationale, there, for why certain people might despise the grossly overweight.

However, in all fairness, I have some problems with this article...

Firstly, the tone clearly indicates that this feeling is irrational and meanspirited. I don't really think it is. The piece goes to great lengths to try to explain that many (nay: ALL, even!) fat people are fat not from choice but from chance (ie: 'genetics', that great catch-all for explaining away all of life's pressing problems...)

One of the doctors (doctors!) quoted in the article explains that many Americans operate under the 'misconception' that it's all about 'calories in and calories out': that getting rid of fat is as simple as that, and that it's really not.

That argument, he claims, is too simplistic.

...excuse me? What the F**k?

Alright: biologically speaking (hell: mathmatically speaking!) if person X takes in Y number of calories from his environment each day, but expends Y-times-1.5 that number of calories in physical activity and general energy expenditure, there is absolutely no way in heaven or on earth that he can maintain his body mass. It is absolutely, mathmatically impossible: weight will have to be lost in the long run.

It's true... really. I don't really have a head for numbers, but I'm pretty sure my equation is spot-on, here. Double-check my math, if you're so inclined...

Now: do genetics play a part in fat-intake and weight gain? Oh, absolutely 100-percent undoubtedly. Here's a cold, hard fact: it's gonna be a hell of a lot easier for some people to maintain a decent weight than others.

For others? Well: it can be a damned struggle, I'm sure.

Here's my problem with fat people... I think...

If I were a house (figuratively speaking), and my body were bloated to dramatically oversized proportions, I would do anything I could under God's yellow sun to rectify the problem. I honestly couldn't live the way I see some people living their lives. I don't, in the final analysis, understand how some people can live the way they do...

(DISCLAIMER: Shane does not mean to imply that he is a) Adonis come to life or b) completely without a small bit of a stomach himself. Shane works out, yes, but there are, I'm sure, many fitness-Nazis out there that would feel the same way about me, I know, but the degree of difference we're talking about here is like comparing Eros to the Moon)

And, yeah: Eros is even oblong and not totally round, so that simile works on a few different levels... well... two, at least...

No one's arguing that getting a curvy body down to proper size isn't a struggle! What I would argue is that, short of a very, very, very, very, very limited number of people with strange and rare hormone disorders, etc... every other overweight person on this planet does have the power to fix their problem: it takes pain, it takes sweat and, yes indeed, discipline.

To suggest anything other than that is to (in my humble opinion) expand the already loose definition of 'victimhood' and (ironically) disempower people from the necessary need to take serious, arduous personal challenges on head-on.

Yeah: genes are powerful, and they certainly have a say in how your life unfolds, but they don't damn-well get the last word (unless, of course, they sometimes do...)

I really think that Naomi Hunter put it best in the original Metal Gear Solid:

"You mustn't allow yourself to be chained to fate, to be ruled by your genes. Human beings can choose the kind of life that they want to live. What's important is that you choose life... and then live."

 I like to think that my chromosomes work for me, not the other way around (and no: we're not going to be getting into that debate, here).

That said, I'd personally love to see all the 200-lb-plus families (kiddies included) barely wedged into that corner booth at my local Dairy Queen put down their f**king 'Blizzards' * and skip some rope together...

But that's 'cause I'm a 'hater', I suppose...

* (Yeah: Shane is actually slurping down the remnants of a large Heath-Bar-Crunch Blizzard as he types this... owing to the 12 miles of running/cycling I've done today, though, I think my body's gonna manage to stay a little more 'Erotian' than others, in the long run, regardless of what my chromosomes may have to say about it.)

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 1:32 AM ADT

Updated: Saturday, 29 August 2009 1:51 AM ADT

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Mood:  chatty

 How about a little more about my reasoning behind this whole Zelda sample script thing...

One of the principle things that attracts me to Ocarina of Time's storyline is the fact that, in the final analysis, a good story could be made almost entirely from the point of view of Link but which is, at its core, actually all about the eponomous princess in question.

...and just what do I mean by that?

Well, consider that in the original game, after Link awakens from his seven-year slumber (in my adaptation its actually a 12-year leave of absence, and not a magical suspended-animation trick) his warrior friend 'Sheik' follows him around- happy-go-lucky, almost- giving advice to Link as he goes on his little quest...

Considering what Zelda did as a kid, and the little mistake she made that caused her people such unimaginable horror under the rule of Ganondorf... I find this characterization a little 'off': 'Sheik' should be a character absolutely consumed with guilt and (in my adaptation) one that harbors fairly intense personally-destructive characterists.

 And, of course, the one person 'Sheik' hates most would have to be the Princess of Hyrule.

So far my story deviates in several other ways: in the video game the kids are about 10 and the adults about 17, or so. My timeline has the kids (Link and Zelda, at least) a little younger- around 8ish, although Malon is slightly older- and their older counterparts about 20ish.

Also, whereas the original game involved actual, physical timetravel on Link's part, I handle the whole process a little... 'differently'...

Probably my greatest sin (for nitpicky fanboys out there) is that I gave the 'Master Sword' a proper name:

 Strange name, huh? Well: that's just the cumbersome old 'Ancient Hylian' langugage, for you...

I meant to talk about District 9, here, too, and a certain film critic I've noticed doing some really weird things, too, but that'll have to wait a day, I think: Shane's plate is full at the moment, and its not even 4:00 AM yet!

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 6:05 AM ADT

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Mood:  a-ok

Hi, there. My name's Shane...

...that seems an appropriate way to start an entry when one has abandoned their poor little blog to rot for... what is it, now: seven months, give or take?

By now, quite rightly, most no one is reading this post other than Googlers whose search engine has led them a bit astray (and no: I don't SELL 'Cotton Thistle' here, nor do I know anything about 'removing Cotton Thistle' from your landscaping projects).

Got a slew of emails in my absence, which was kinda nice (always pleasant when people are the least bit curious about whether one's dead or not). In my case I didn't die, but I did have a... well, 'medical issue', let's say, that put me in a damn-dour mood.

(No: not cancer, or scabies, or rabies, or anything affecting life and limb. Shane's fine, thank you very much... physically, at least...)

Bottom line: I didn't feel like talking much to anyone outside my... well, real life experience, and wouldn't you know that 'real life' is interfering with my digital pursuits more and more often these days... er... months...

That said, I don't really want this thing to 'die', however one describes it, and the way I see it the only way it CAN die is if I stop altogether. So I won't. I think we'll keep moving, here.

What have I been up to lately, you ask? Lots 'n lots of work on TYPERS, as always, but a ton of 'big picture' stuff (ie: not alot of actual progress on the next actual chapter...) That story, of course, consumes me, and I'm fermenting it quite well in my mind...

Truth be told, there is ONE project I've been devoting quite a bit of time to in the past two months.

Wanna know what it is?

You gotta promise you won't laugh...

Promise?

...well, given that all I hear are crickets out my window, here it is:

...yeah... I'm being serious... seriously... and NO ONE out there does Zelda Fanfiction, do they? My originality is simply staggering!

 The "OOT" storyline that's been swirling around in my head reached 'critical mass' some months ago: I had to do something...

'Something' in this case implies writing a screenplay... despite the fact that I don't know HOW to write a screenplay (some would argue I don't even know how to write a book, but that's another story...)

It's precisely 200-pages-long now (doesn't tell you much because, again, I'm less than a neophyte at writing these things and I take up way too much time detailing stage direction and scenery, I'm sure), with what I like to think are about equal parts 'sweet' and 'sour' notes to it, and at present it's sitting somewhere between a hard PG-13 rating and an R rating...

...hey: if the Dark Knight can con the MPAA into giving them a lesser rating by just not showing any blood, imagine what else is possible in that PG-13 bracket? Of course my Zelda story currently has two 'scenes of torture' (as the ratings bars before films these days now declare, I note) so maybe my OOT adaptation's doomed to an R-Rating from the start...

Waaah, waaah, waaah!

Truth is that I really want to be done with this thing. Once I am I'll damn-well post it to cyberspace and hopefully have that be the end of it: it's a neat little take on the game (not to be immodest) and I guess my main impetus for creating it is to show-off to whatever slimeball producers end up MAKING a Zelda film that it could've been done somewhat decently (I only predict- probably correctly, too- that any Zelda film that does get made someday will be worse than my darkest fears imagine), but I really do have more important things to attend to...

...and look here: I'm wrapping up one of those things, right now!

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 2:05 AM ADT

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Mood:  not sure

Well over a month since my last post, huh?

I've decided to get on a more regular schedule with this thing: one post at least every other day. Hopefully such a structure will keep me 'regular', more'n a diet of fiber, anyway...

Before I forget, the latest chapter of TYPERS is up on the main site and I'm currently at work on the last two chapters that'll bring "His Moral Antipathy" to a close, and subsequently set the stage for "The Stars Over Heaven" and the final climactic adventures of the Tears' Shower Squadron (again... there's still QUITE a bit to go... cramming everything into 3 books is still my main concern...)

Wanna see the artwork for the next chapter? (Don't answer, it's a rhetorical question...):

Not much of a looker, eh? Way I see it, most of the chapter images in HMA have been far more elaborate than those in The Galilean's Shame, so I'm due for a little slacking.

Also, quite honestly, given the subjectmatter, that's one of the more accurate images I could use for a chapter head. Coulda done more with it, but again: I'm due some slacking in the artistic department...

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 3:50 PM MNT

Updated: Sunday, 25 January 2009 4:01 PM MNT

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Mood:  lazy

Updates have been sparse recently, huh?

Well there are reasons for that. For one, Shane recently got himself a new toy.

It tends to suck at the free time, if you know what I mean (and other nifty add-ons tend to suck at the wallet, too...)

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 3:54 AM MNT

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Mood:  accident prone

...

Okay...

Now, Shane considers himself a "runner"...

I can run pretty fast, and pretty far, too. I won't qualify for any track meets anytime soon, but let's just say that I can cover 12 miles in a day, if I'm pressed to...

So, when I started this whole running thing, the first thing that got me was Jogger's Thigh (I won't go into the details of that one, thank you very much...) then there was Jogger's Nipple...

I resolved both those issues in short order, care of a little friend I like to call petroleum jelly (again, details are unnecessary...)

Now it's this thing!

"Iliotibial Band Syndrome", they call it. Along with this "Snapping Hip Syndrome"...

God da*m it!

Talk about pain, too. Now, whatever it is that goes into the so-called "Runner's High", be it endorphines or whatever else, it's something real, 'cause I don't feel the pain until well after I do the damage. And the pain is something else. I've even recieved some comments about that "popping" sound coming from my right hip.

I've only got myself to blame, anyway. The only thing that cures this IBS (not "that" IBS, either...) is a certain activity that I've apparently not been doing enough of.

Just a reminder: stretching ain't exactly useless, in the grand scheme of things...

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 11:31 PM MNT

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