Mood:  caffeinated

True story: I whanged my head today on my kitchen cabinet. I got that weird 'blobby vision' sensation... you know, the same strange things you see in your peripheral vision when you press one finger against the far side of your eye (go ahead: try it now!)...

For a few minutes afterwords I thought I could see some fairies dancing on my countertop... I felt like I was someplace else, entirely...

...oooh, hallucinating... head woozy...

but forget about that: there are more important matters afoot... 

The very facets of existence are in question: THE KILOGRAM IS DYING!!!!!!

...*huff* ...breathe... breathe... breathe...  *pant*...

So update your catalogues, people, 'cause the kilo is officially FIFTY MICROGRAMS lighter!

...it's okay, though... I know that there's some perfectly rational explanation... something that can be scientifically hypothesized, reasoned and worked out...

My head's feeling a little better, now, so maybe I can try to work out my own little down to earth solution on why the kilogram is slimming: it's a riddle worth solving. Let's see... let's see... slimming... kilogram... slimming... slimming... kilogram... slimming...

slimming... 

GEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! 

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 10:46 PM ADT

Updated: Friday, 14 September 2007 10:56 PM ADT

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Hey, kids: it's autocracy time!

So the Russian government has been, in effect, completely dissolved and a puppet on strings is in the PM chair (until Pooty-Poot says different...)

I'm more puzzled by Putin's blatant power grabs than anything else... he's going to have the whole of Russia completely under his thumb soon (if he doesn't already...)

But my question is: who'd want it? 

 As part of the Kremlin's push to show Pooty as a 'rugged and powerful' outdoorsman and all-around badass, they've also allowed some steamy shirtless photos of the president/Tsar to be published.

The pics were taken during a Siberian fishing trip.

I wonder what Putin thinks about when out on these rugged, manly trips in a harsh land of and isolation and loneliness. His thoughts must surely be center on his wif- 

Oh... 

...nevermind, then. Uh, moving on... 

A return to the time of the Tsars, huh? Interestingly, the end of the true-Tsarist  lineage also marks the end of my interest in Russian history (so much so that, with the exception of a notable soul or two, I'm exceedingly ignorant about most facets of Russian history post-Tsar and pre-CCCP).

While I was writing a chapter of 'Typers' I decided, on the spur of the moment, to put Russia in my main character's backstory: turns out that he spent his very early years in Vladivostok (although he's a native New Englander, but this ends up making sense in the plot considering his family would've had to move away from NE right after a certain major impact event shalacks their continent). This is also convienent because it allows Justin to have a second language (presumably he's conversant in Russian); most everyone else in Typers is at least bilingual, and it was odd that Justin's phonetic prowess never came up...

No particular reason I picked Russia, though: I only needed some place with blisteringly-cold waters where my character could have a near-death experience: a temporary trauma leaving rather permanant resuts.

It could be said that my choosing Russia as a plot point is a subconscious move that hints at my own desire to better understand its land and people (...riiiiiight...) The most plausible reason I did this is because a) I like to say 'Vladivostok' (and I like to write the word 'Vladivostok', even!) and b) an amnesic James Bond was cryptically told to go to Vladivostok at the end of You Only Live Twice, and since I believe that the Fleming novels end with this one (...I'm sure of it, actually... *shudder*) that ambiguous, ominous ending rather stuck with me.

But mostly, I just like sayin' Vladivostok!

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 11:21 PM ADT

Updated: Wednesday, 12 September 2007 11:48 PM ADT

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Mood:  energetic

Dustin' off some of the ol' VGs lately and I came across my copy of Sons of Liberty. I'm a certifiable Metal Gear nut and I have been ever since I snagged a copy of the original game cartridge in an elementary school white elephant party (I can still remember the kid who got it for his birthday was glad to be rid of it: he didn't know what to do with it, gameplay-wise... back in the day the concept of a 'sneaking' video game was all but unknown).

Personally, I think that only the Thief series is a serious contender against this monolithic jewel of a VG franchise (what can I say? I LOVE sneakin' games...)

But Sons of Liberty is interesting: it came off the heels of the wildly popular and insanely intelligent MGS, and with its success creator Hideo Kojima was given massive resources and significant leeway in its sequal. That sequel, SOL, was a triumph of graphics (especially on a PS2...) and gameplay, significantly advancing the possibilities of the Metal Gear brand.

But the story... my God...

The only reason I can't compare SOL to the last two films in the Matrix series (incomprehensible, self-indulgent tripe!) is because, as I've said: the gameplay and graphics're brilliant.

MGS examined issues surrounding genetics and the ethics thereof quite effectively: cut-scenes thoughtout the action were chock-full of intelligent dialogue and effective characters (the death of Sniper Wolf ranks as one of my all-time favorite cinematic death scenes... and yes: I mean CINEMATIC death scenes, as MGS is easily as artful as the most stylish motion picture).

The storyline for Sons of Liberty proves that complexity and a 'widened' scope are not necessarily good things for a plot: it is a jumbled mess of psuedointellecual banter, overly-long, uninteresting cut-scenes without much merit to them and conspiracy-on-top-of-conspiracy-on-top-of-conspiracy-on-top-of-conspiracy-on-top-of-...

...you get the idea...

Snake Eater's storyline was much improved (though not even close to MGS, still). A return to simplicity and good ol' coherent plotlines was a boon, indeed. As a matter of fact, Naked Snake himself was a little... er... 'miffed' by the storyline when he first played Sons of Liberty as well:

Let's hope that Kojima can find it in his heart to cut out a decent script for Guns of the Patriots, and resist the urge to pile complexity on top of complexity for complexity's sake (lord knows I struggle with that, too...)

La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo...

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 2:27 AM ADT

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Mood:  mischievious

Tch! Who knew, eh?

So the gist of this scientific study is that men are, indeed, dogs. Well, lemme share a little secret with the opposite sex: we already knew that, and so should you, too.

However, let's also remember that men look at women's faces before they look at their bodies, the opposite of how women do things (even when gals are looking at other women, they tend to focus on the 'assets' first, though the reason probably has nothing to do with the naughty things we heteroseual guys think they're thinkin' of...)

Too bad...

Guys like hot women, eh? Tell me about it; there's a reason that my lead female character in Typers isn't an overweight, balding, middle-aged butterface with bad hair and unattractive eyes.

I personally have a theory on why men look at women's faces first and foremost (before admittedly moving on to regions beyond...) and I think it's a good theory: women would look at men's faces first, too, but when their eyes wander over places such as the buttocks, they're not actually being shallow... not sexually, anyway:

...they're just looking for that 'sexy' bulge of the wallet to gauge the guy's worthiness...

NOW is gonna put a hit out on me, I just know it... 

In the mean time: Scientific Progress goes sidling up to the nearest singles bar... 

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 12:43 AM ADT

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Mood:  blue

The voice of voices is now silenced, at least on this plane of existence...

People often say that little girls like Charlotte Church have the 'voice of an Angel' (and Church even titled an album in this vein... oh, that little modest mouse!)

If that's true, then Luciano Pavarotti had the voice of an Archangel. So there.

The BBC did a story about the tenor's farewell tour a few years ago (can't find it at the moment, so no tedious link), but I was fortunate enough to get to see him in concert several years before that (can't say exactly when and where: Shane likes his anonymity...)

I'm not some pretentious blowhard who posesses an encyclopedic knowledge of all performances of all great singers in all venues and I can't 'rank' the guy against his peers objectively: I'm just a li'l ol' opera fan out there who was, indeed, mesmerized by the slick voice of a master of masters...

Here's to you, Luciano. You made millions of fans very, very happy. And you made some idiot kid way up in the cheap seats smile, too. 

So, thanks.

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 3:51 AM ADT

Updated: Friday, 7 September 2007 3:56 AM ADT

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'Typers' is coming out quite long...

Ridiculously long, to be precise. 

There's nothing wrong with really long fiction (other than the major hit it takes in the 'ol marketability department) but typical 'epic' length fiction usually covers a sh*tload of ground as it unwinds. A whole lot has happened in 'Typers' so far, but not enough to justify the lengthiness of my prose.

My draft of the first book is quite long, but not too much, I'd argue. It needs copious copyediting and polishing, but overall the pacing is generally okay, I'd say.

I think the problem started with the second book. Now, a guiding principle I've sworn myself to is that I keep individual chapters below 10,000 words (which is quite long for a book chapter and the maximal length, some would say) and for the most part I was able to do that with TGS (embrace the acronyms!)... but for HMA... well...

Lord: one of the chapters in that book is currently a 30,000 word monster (nearly novella length, for Crissake...) and I'm not happy about that one bit. To make matters worse, the chapter before it was SUPPOSED to be part of it as well, so in reality I've got around a 40,000 word chapter there.

During the last few chapters of HMA I've routinely broken my 10,000 word rule (and I've even split MORE overly-long chapters into multi chapters...)

The gist is this: if I keep writing like this I'll most likely have four books total, not a trilogy. I know I can avoid this, though: it's all a matter of trimmin' the fat (of which my books are an analogous to a cow suffering from severe obesity on top of a glandular disorder...)

Worst case scenario is that I can't do it, and I do end up with four books (or three OVERLY LONG ones...). I've certainly got enough side-material to fill four books, but I'd rather not, and I know that my course of action is clear: trim the f***ing fat...

I should post that message as a sticky note over my desk (maybe I could adopt it as my mantra ala the Ragin' Cajun, if you will...) 

*Sigh*  In any event, I know what the titles of each book WOULD be if I did write a quadrilogy (and f*** you, search engines ;)

The fourth title up there IS gonna be the name of the last book, be it the third one (hopefully!) or the fourth. SOAV will be the name of a chapter, at the minimum or- if I can't find it in my heart to start trimming this sucker- the name of a  whole 'nother book altogether...

Sometime soon I need to get back to the next chapter at hand: 'Legend of the Novanjo'. Important chapter, this one. Brings a lot of information around full-circle, but it's very light on the action minus a 'Raiden' crash landing at the opening (the chapter FOLLOWING this one would be violent bordering on the hellaciously graphic, though)... 

...trim the fat, boy... 

...*Sigh*... 

Anyway, do you wanna know what a 'Novanjo' looks like?...

 ...yeah, something like that... (except for the wings in the background... I ripped those off my own Tears' Shower Squadron logo)...

It's gettin' mighty strange now that I'm at the point where I'm stealing stuff from MYSELF... 

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 1:19 AM ADT

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Mood:  a-ok

I love the concept of religious tolerance...

But I adore it when organized criminals who prey on the gullible, and who hide behind the banner of a psuedo-religion, are called out on their actions.

It's kinda odd, really, that the European Union is so confrontational towards this cult of (to be brutally honest) wackos and gangsters. I'm often critical of European policy (as an American, natch...) but for some reason the good 'ol EU has it right on the money: Scientology is a cult, a scam, and as far as the ultimate belief system goes, a tribe of losers stuck in a REALLY bad science-fiction novel.

And even some idiot celebrities are being banned from EU countries for their support of the scam. That's cahones, EU! Kudos...

 Speaking of bad science fiction, work on R.O.E. continues, as always. (I may not be sensational in the ol' prose department, yet, and I'm certainly nowhere near my personal goals, but I can rest assured in this much: I am a much, much better author than L. Ron Hubbard, and as I'm loathe to give myself any praise, that comment really means something...)

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 3:52 AM ADT

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Mood:  chillin'

I'm behind the power curve on this, but apparently the AFI updated their '100 greatest movies' list way back in January...

Is this now a yearly event for them, or what?

Anywho, the list is what it is, and at least they came CLOSER to selecting the proper #1 film of all time this time, but they're still hung-up on Citizen Kane...

Now, most of the civilized world knows what the best movie ever made really is, but there's a selfish snag: people in the entertainment business (eg: The AFI) will ALWAYS choose Kane as the 'greater' film because it criticizes (indirectly) the life of William Randolph Hearst, a big time media baron and the very face of a 'corporate' and 'anti-artistic' soul. The fact that he tried to quash the film (stupid, stupid Hearst...) secured its legacy as a Hollywood darling independant of quality concerns (don't get me wrong: the thing is a fantastic production, but it is severely bloated and it seems to have been edited by the same guy that Quentin Tarantino used to edit his Kill Bill Vol. 2)

Citizen Kane belongs well behind the Godfather, and I'd go so far as to say that Casablanca is worthy of a higher spot, even.

(IMDB currently has the proper movie in the #1 spot, so flesh-and-blood humans know their stuff, and as time goes by the legacy of Kane will likely begin to wither until it finds a more appropriate place on the list (and if it refuses to go quietly, we can always make it an offer that it can't refuse...)

 As for people who don't think the Godfather is deserving of the prime seat on the list, cogent arguments can be made, I suppose...

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 3:02 PM ADT

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Mood:  loud

Can't blog... the TV'll eat me...

I'm fond of linkin' to Wikipedia when I make my posts, so I'm going to do so in order to explain to anyone outside the good ol' States why I can't be very 'inslightful' today...

The season of something very, very bloody important begins today, and that's why.

I was practically drunk by noon today (hyperbole, but not by much...) and I'm friggin' spiking my Grolsch in the endzone with glee! (the 'endzone' being my tile floor... and now I need a mop...)

The best I can do for today is mention that good ol' 'Cotton Thistle Clearance' is currently the #8 site on Google's page-rank list when one searches for the words 'Cotton' and 'Thistle' (together, but without boolean quotes, at that).

That means... uh... I'm not really sure. Not a whole bunch, really, but on paper it makes me feel special...

Not really... 

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 11:43 PM ADT

Updated: Saturday, 1 September 2007 11:51 PM ADT

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Mood:  a-ok

It's not so much the content of this story that intrigued me so much as the title:

'Burning Man loses its innocence'?

Innocence? 

Please.

What     is     so      'innocent'      about a multi-day drug 'n sex marathon in the middle of the desert in the first place, anyway?

(those back-to-back links contain four separate sources to describe, respectively, the death,  rape, assault, and hypocritical commercialism of this glowing annual tribute to 'freedom'...

One idiot performance artist's fire has ruined the 'innocence' of this beloved and 'harmless' festival?

No, no, no... I'm afraid I beg to differ; my links up there demonstrate (along with the overall reputation of this faux-hippie shindig in recent years) that the flame-wielder in question didn't start the 'fire' that destroyed this festival's presumed 'innocence'...

It's been burnin' since festival's been returnin', year after year after year...

(that's a fancy way of saying that the festival had about as much innocence to begin with as a Thalidomide baby has spare toes)

Wow... that was in surprisingly poor taste, even for me...

And now, since this post is now all but dedicated to 'that song': here's something you'll really like...

(hopefully that reference will help us forget that Thalidomide unpleasantness...)

Posted by shanekentknolltrey at 2:43 PM ADT

Updated: Friday, 31 August 2007 5:20 PM ADT

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